I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
