i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize