i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
it glows. i had to have it.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
