I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
