sarcasm needs its own font
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
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Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize