Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
