I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
