If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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