I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
