HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
