Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
