My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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