just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
