He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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