You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
