my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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