I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
