Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
