This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
