is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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