i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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