this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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