the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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