11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
