tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
