I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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