i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
