A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
