I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
