In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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