We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
