Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize