I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
