Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
