i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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