this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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