Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
