how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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