I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
