maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.