Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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