Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
