not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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