Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
