she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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