Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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