i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Green mimosas i think yes
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
50% drunk capacity currently
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
