Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
