just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
