these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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