I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My penis needs a shock collar
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
