If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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