Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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