i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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