his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Farmville is her only friend.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
