I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
