Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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