Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
